we used to spend our summers by the lake you loved her and let her go // we used to spend stolen days in the creek you loved me and you let me go // apologies won't make you whole // apologies wont put me back where i belong // you never threw me away // you never asked me to stay // i stand down // lost in time like my father. resilient like my mother. i've left you, tortured soul, and made my amends with being alone // i'll hide from myself // i've lost you love of my life // these days i've changed my name now you don't know me terrified, i close my eyes now you can't see me anymore.
tremors from my lungs rise to my mouth // I feel my chest caving in on you // I get older // I grow colder // I stand down // hiding behind faded eyes // terrified I stand down
Track Name: Spill
talk about our failures. how small we truly are. how comfortable we can be // i want to tell you everything every promise and failure i want to bleed red ribbons from my tongue into your ear without feeling vulnerable // it never meant the same to me // how our impulses destroy us. how they shape and mold our hearts. how we'd die right now if our fears would let us // tell me softly your passions and dreams the things you never tell // what are your nightmares in daylight? // we are the same. we are one in the same.
shed former skin in hopes of growing back different but I'll never fucking change my shape
Track Name: Ghost Ship
have i lost you? best friends. change of heart has made me cold // have i loved you? best friend. change of heart secludes us both // this is how i fail. you are my one regret. my life it fades away. in your arms i fade away // then you say that i'm coming undone at the seams. not again // in your bed, we're becoming the saddest of friends. hold my hand // no i can't, i hold hostage my heart in my hands. these demands // let them die with bitterness i told in a lie, oh i can't // you've made me realize that there is no hope. what i'm survived by will remain as i pass on. you've made me realize that i am alone. the ones i've loved will remain as i pass on and i loved you.
The things I've loved and lost will never lose their place // where am I meant to be lost?
Track Name: Monument
why do i try? i am withdrawn from you // every time i hide from what i cannot face // in the dark memories cease to exist // burst and bloom // on the floor of your room // wither and wilt // i lay there still // this is where i fond my comfort // as i lay high with my back to the mattress watching your undress the floral pattern print on your sundress bleeds and blurs and you tell me that every itch for a cigarette and every last suffragette are just a flash in the dark of my empty life // my life is not a monument to your affection // better than them, less than your expectations.